Monday, September 13, 2010

read it anyway..

I was never really a morning person. Not that I had a hard time being awake and not that I am super grumpy after I get up... it was more like, I never really had enough desire to wake up earlier than necessary.

Well, when a baby comes into your life you don't really have much of an option anymore - and honestly I am glad for that (most of the time, anyways). I have always loved the crisp air of the early morning and the feeling of a fresh long day and all that you could accomplish with the extra hours you have from waking early... but yeah, given that I am slightly more "type b personality" - I often experience some temptations that get dragged along with it... like a ball & chain; one being laziness.

This morning, like all the others - my alarm (the baby) went off and daddy went to get the "smiley box" (the baby). And I'll tell ya something; staring into the face of a kid who is SO happy to see you in the morning is just awesome... Jonathan actually commented, "It's so cute, he's always so happy to see us in the morning." and I said, "I know, he is just.. he's just [brief pause] so happy to see us every morning..." because for some reason I felt the need to repeat back to Jonathan what he had just said to me, (sigh)

Fast forward about 40 minutes, I realize Davin has 7 diapers left and the only toilet paper in the house is the bit left on my night stand from blowing my nose - a combination of these 2 facts could have lead to a very interesting scenario, if you know what I mean.

So I thought, "Wonderful! Its only 7:45, I'll go now and get a bunch of errands done!"
We were in the car at 8:15, headed out of the neighborhood and there I saw, stand still traffic.


U-turn it is, besides I didn't want to take that road anyway - thankyouverymuch!
And then we were off again, in a new directions to Costco..

Now for any of you Costco shoppers, you many know what is coming next.

We pull in, and..... well.... they are closed.


durr... I have done this so many times, and I just wanna kick my rear for it. But hey, I needed gas, and for the first time ever, there wasn't a line :) - mainly because no one else out there is as mindless as I to show up at Costco at 8:20am, BECAUSE EVERYBODY KNOWS THEY DON'T OPEN UNTIL TEN!

I felt a little bit better since I had been driving on fumes the whole way there and I now had a full tank. As I was putting the cards into my wallet, I noticed the cash that needed to be deposited to the bank - YES! I will go and deposit this cash that has been sitting in there for a week.. I will get things done!

8:32am - I pull into Chase.

Parking lot was barren. Ghost town, I tell ya. The Chick-Fil-A, whose grand opening isn't even til Thursday had more cars in it's lot.

I actually said out load, "Does anybody do ANYTHING in the mornings anymore??"

I know, given my past and even present, that's pretty hypocritical of me to say - huh?

So, I was basically forced to cross the street and go to Dunkin Donuts. Upon arrival my "mothers nose" picked up a suspicious scent on the radar. It was the morning BM. It comes like clock work. It comes like FIRE. And why I decided to change him the back seat of the car, I will never figure out.. and how I clean up the whole- ahem - mess with the 3 wipes remaining is a miracle of biblical proportions; we're talking 2 fish and 5 loaves kinda miracle. My car smelled like, well..... poo

The ladies in there were so nice, and like usual Davin was charming them with his two toothed smiles and the boy scored us a FREE DONUT! Ok, so it was a donut hole and it was supposed to be for him - but I had to do what I had to do, because no mother would give her 7 month old baby a donut, I ate the donut... in the car of course, the car that smelled like poo. I nearly gagged.

And before to long, we were pulling into the driveway safe and sound, having accomplished nothing but adding a sugary ball of doughy delight to my morning meal. Then I began the "getting in to the house" routine which was especially hilarious today: I had a baby on one hip, and chunky diaper bag on the shoulder, a donut bag grasped with my pinkie finger, coffee that I was trying to keep away from the grabbing baby, keys to situate to unlock the door and the dirty stinko diaper too! It was like slow motion... baby reaches for yucky diaper, I do some sort of block, diaper started to slip, I see it going toward the mouth piece of the coffee in hand, I do some sort of Neo-Matrix move and end up drop kicking this mushy balled up diaper to our front porch - wipes free flying mid air and thump... it land on the door mat, like a package from UPS.

((ding dong)) Special delivery

I'm just glad the neighbor wasn't home, for he surely would have believed me if I'da told him I was captain of the Purdue soccer team.

And then I found 5 dollars...



  1. HELLLLLOOOOO! I am laughing hysterically over here. This is one of the funniest things I have ever read! You are hilarious! Love it! Thanks for the afternoon giggle fest :)

  2. OH my goodness, Mish.. i totally agree with Angie. I was laughing so hard! My roommate probably thinks I'm crazy. You have a gift for typing exactly the way that you tell stories.. which is so awesome :)

  3. This almost reminded me of "If you give a mouse a cookie"!! Very funny and a good reminder to find the humor in what can be tempting situations!

    BTW I am very excited to babysit for you guys on Thursday!

  4. HAHAHAHAAH OH MY GOSH! This is hilarious!!! Neo-matrix! I just envisioned this whole scenario in my head as I read thing ever!

    On a more serious note, something that stuck out to me in the beginning of the blog was when you were talking about how happy Davin is to see you guys in the morning. Isn't that sooo cute and precious! What a great feeling. I bet God is so happy in the mornings when we wake up...and in return wouldnt it be awesome if God's children were so happy to see Him in the morning too?! :)

  5. Misha, I'm so glad that you just got a new computer because I can seriously use more of your humor every day. For real.