It certainly was black when I woke up that morning! The alarm whaled at 4 o'clock AM.
Actually that was an over statement, because my alarm is Fur Elise so it was actually a classical way to wake!
lala lala lala lala la la laaaaaaaaaa la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaa la la la laaaaaaaaaaa
I rolled out, puffy eyes and all, into the bathroom to try and make sense of my hair and cover the dark circles under my eyes. Then we were off
Hannah: "GOOD MORNING EVANSVILLE!"
And I was officially awake :o)
We pulled up in the turn lane on the road Target was on. Time: 4:45am. And we could see the line! It was like seeing the the Great Wall of China from outer space. It that HUGE and that LONG! Starting at the doors, wrapping about the corner, down the entire side of the huge Super Target Warehouse, and around the back side!
Umm..... excuse me, WHAT?!? It took us a total of 25minutes to get out of that darn turn lane, into the parking lot and to the front doors. Time: 5:10am.
As we walked in, mind you - 10 whole minutes after opening - there were already lines for the check out! Um.... excuse me, WHAT?!?
It was as if we were experiencing plagues of Bible times, it just that instead of locust it was wild sale shoppers! I seriously saw a ladies arms loaded with 7 digital picture frames.
She didn't have to mess around with a cart...
We weaved through the aisle... how I managed not to get my belly punched it beyond me. But I did get unintentionally invited into a phone conversation that he man behind me was having with his shopping partner, who was obviously lost somewhere in the store. He was talking right in my( because he had no choice not to) - there was no room. I almost spoke into the receiver to help explain where the heck he was - just so I could shut up the unwanted talking that was blaring in my right ear. My neck itched because of the "too close for comfort" convo
We did actually make it out of Target alive, but not after almost passing out in the line which might as well have been 5 miles long... It was crazy and what was even more crazy was the fact that it was one of the "shorter" ones and that every stinkin' cash register had one of these lines branching from it... You would have thought it was Y2K all over again, except people were stocking up on TVs and, oh ya, DIGITAL PICTURE FRAMES!
We did a lot of other shopping that day too. I had a good time. We ended it at around 11:30ish at Los Bravos (which I miss quite a bit already) with some delicious... did I mention DELICIOUS mexican food. I had nachos, like usual... because I am a fan of nachos - always. They were the kind with the runny queso, beans, guac, lettuce, tomato, shredded chicken, sour cream.....
I am drooling - dang it! I promised myself I would try and stop that! I am going to be a mother you know, and we can't have 2 drooling hungry people. Its just not decent.
All in all, the day and what observations I made just proved to continue to poke at the weird twingey feeling I have been experiencing this Christmas season. I don't want to lose sight of what the whole point is in the first place... and all hype I could manage to see at ever corner was gifts, gifts, GIFTS!
-How many gifts can I get?
-Hope I get what I want...
-this is the time of year that I get stuff....
Do you struggle with these motives?
These were some of the things that popped into my head on Black Friday... and I remember actually feeling some of those things when I was young. Actual disappointment at times, when all the gifts would be unwrapped and I still didn't feel fulfilled.
I cried. I cried before black friday and I cry after - I don't like those memories. What ungratefulness and deformed views of a sacred holiday. I think I would actually feel better if I threw up. The reminder of those feels makes me uncomfortable.
I thank God for the grace he has had on me since, and the fact that he has so kindly worked to refine me.
Jonathan and I talked a lot on the way home from Thanksgiving (a 6 hour drive!) about the topic of Christmas - and how we want to start off traditions with our little guy. How we want to do gifts, and what they will mean. We want to be every intentional about avoiding opportunities for him or each other to experience those mentioned feelings of discontent - during a season of reflection of the gift God sent in the form of a baby.
I want to remember that being the reason for our giving and receiving of gifts at Christmas - as an expression and reflection of the giving nature of our God - and how He gave a priceless gift that would one day die for the redemption of sin! Sins like my childish ungratefulness.
What a beautiful God we serve.
I have started reading Treasuring God in our Traditions by Noel Piper and I am so excited to learn from their family in the way they treasure God through traditions like Christmas and through every day traditions of life! You can read it too, by downloading it for free HERE